Would a judge really grant a mother no weekend time at all during the school year? Does that include phone calls or am I allowed to call them? My daughter does not want to go and I am really nervous about her being away from me that long especially since she would be on the other side of the country. Is this a "reasonable" visitation schedule for an infant? Please note that my ex-husband has threatened me in the past when I tried to work with him. Do I still let him get her whenever he wants, or does he lose visitation if he doesn’t get her on his Thursday at 5:30 pm? It's likely the judge will talk to your son to get his input. I sent him a message on OFW as a courtesy reminder. He gets him every weekend and in the summers. S's Question: My daughter just met her father after 13 years. Candice's Question: I am scared that my ex will get visitation with my son. I am 18 and she will not let me see my two half-sisters. Your job is going to be to present the court with all of this information. It's going to hinge on what evidence he has. Also check out Handling Grandparents Visitation Rights for more tips. But he has been in her life since she was 3 and now she's 8. Can I request he take my other child for visits even if she isn't his? He never sees the children, even though two different children therapists have met with him to stress the importance of structure. There are lots of possible solutions. 4 year olds are not reliable reporters, so she might not be telling you exactly what happened. Brette's Answer: No. Regina's Question: My ex has cerebral palsy and has to walk with a walker or cane and falls down a lot. How do I handle visitation if he's a sex addict? Rachel's Question: If I have sole physical custody, and when he has visitation, can I make it so that he has to spend that time with her and him not pawn her off on his family? Brette's Answer: You would need to find out if this is a requirement in your state. You can certainly try to get a change in custody since there has been a change in circumstances since the last time you were in court. If he wants it changed, he has to go to court and request a modification. If he would be safe, then this really should be up to him. Brette's Answer: I am concerned about the language your son has picked up and sampling alcohol is not acceptable. Brette's Answer: The only way to change this is to go back to court. I do not know how your Judge will address the existence of the … Visitation is NOT healthy if it is emotionally damaging to your child. He only wants them when it suits him, and of course to take them 2 weeks in the summer to visit grandparents they only see once a year. Instead, why not try to be supportive? We have a 6 year old son and a 4 year old daughter, and he has had visitation with them every other weekend. What does limited visitation at my discretion mean? Linda's Question: Do I have any rights to tell my husband that he cannot have the kids spend the night with him if his girlfriend is also sleeping there? My son started kindergarten this year and the school says that if my ex goes to the school to pick him up, they would have to allow it. My ex is against her playing sports and grudgingly brings her to the games when she's with him. Brette's Answer: The person who does not attend is the one who will face contempt charges. Brette's Answer: Yes, it's common to include a provision like that in a parenting plan; however I have to warn you it often doesn't work out. Brette's Answer: First of all, if he has residential custody then yes you do have to return her to him, unless you can show she would somehow be in danger with him or being with him would not be in her best interests (if he is truly "homeless" that meets this requirement, but if he is just looking for a new place to live and is staying in hotels it may not qualify). If you have concerns about his ability to care for her, you need to share those. Brette's Answer: You don't need to do anything. And since he hasn't seen her in 4 years, it is unreasonable for him to suddenly think he can exercise it as decided 4 years ago. It is possible to live without running water and still keep your child clean with clean clothes and teeth, so if you ex cannot do that, it is an issue. Vanese's Question: My divorce states that neither party shall take the children out of the state without expressed written consent of the other party. You should get an attorney who can help you do that. I am extremely scared that if the courts award visitation she will be hurt. How did you make it work then? Macinzie's Question: When my ex & I split up, I suggested he have her Thursday, Friday & Saturday overnight because I work 10 hour night shifts on those nights, and figured that it was better for her to be with her father than with a babysitter while I worked. You have to tell her that he loves her and she is important to him, but there may be reasons neither of you know about that are preventing him from visiting her. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you don't have a custody order at all, so you need to file for custody. He has been diagnosed as bi-polar, and has been told he is borderline schizophrenic. The three of us do not get along and I don't feel comfortable when she comes to get my kids to bring them to their dad. Maybe you could suggest some fun things they could do together or activities that she would enjoy. Unless your parenting plan specifically states that only you can pick up the kids, then anyone you choose or 'designate' can pick them up, transport them to home or school, etc. Do I have to respond to his texts asking to see our child? Brette's Answer: Yes, these are definitely issues that would allow you to ask for a modification of the order. Laura's Question: My children are 11, 13, and 15. My ex lives in a different state and new wife will not allow me to talk to my son on the phone. It simply says "Visitation will be determined between the parties". You could take your kids to a therapist and see if that is helpful. How do I explain to my daughter the best I can that she is not alone even though she does not see her dad. He has our son every other weekend and up to 2 months each year for vacation time, but only two weeks at a time. What are the stipulations for visitation if he has no running water? They are dying to see him more and my only boundary is supervision. Brette's Answer: Eventually he would be likely be given the right to be with her alone. His father refuses to pick him up from the practices on his days, and will not allow me to pick him up either, stating that it is too inconvenient and that sports are not "required" or "mandatory". She also has seizures and if one occurs, she has to be carried to a vehicle to be taken to the ER. What can I do? You should talk with an attorney who can help you try to negotiate a settlement or prepare for a trial. Encourage your ex to make regular visits. What rights does this give the children's father regarding visitation and scheduling? He is supposed to pick her up every other Thursday at 5:30 pm and drop her off at 5:30 pm on that Sunday. My husband beats me up all the time what should I do? If your son is truly miserable there, then you could seek to have visitation modified, perhaps reducing the length of time he is there. Can he take our baby overnight if he's never cared for her alone? If, however, you feel your children are at genuine risk, or in danger, in this person's presence, then you should do what you can to enlighten the x on what you feel makes this situation less than desireable, and if need be, restrict all access to the dangerous person. Now there is a no contact order. I want to let her know that I am here for her and I will not leave her side. He could be alleging you told him not to come and therefore he did not. The judge is on your side here. I know he has been driving with her in the car. What does no romantic companion at all in my order mean? I find that most families generally move away from it eventually though. If I just keep them away from him will I get in trouble? He allows our son to stay at my ex-mother-in-law’s home unsupervised. What if his girlfriend wants to spend time with the kids? You're both independent adults and not beholden to the other. You should file as soon as possible (as soon as you have some evidence) and ask for a temporary order halting visitation. p.c.. some place else to pass, possibly a jazz club, no longer some place the place all of us is bumping and grinding in each single place. Ask most divorced parents about child visitation rights, and you're likely to hear some discontent about the situation. What should I do if she told me her Dad left her home alone? Should I allow my son to see his dying Dad after no visits for years? Calling you names is not a basis to change visitation. How can I enforce my scheduled visitation? He refuses to take the kids to the doctor and has repeatedly not given the inhalers that have been prescribed. Shannon's Question: Can I stop my ex from having our daughter around his new girlfriend if she has threatened and harassed me? Now I regret signing the papers with this in them, but I did it at the time to protect my daughter who was having a very hard time accepting what had happened. He expects me to leave my daughter with him when she doesn't even know him. If you want to modify your order based on this, you can file for modification. Your son undoubtedly needs his father in his life. Instead, you need to find a way to help her through it. Do you have any ideas on how to handle this? There is a lot of manipulation and bullying from my narcissistic ex-husband and his family to my children. He'll see the error of his ways pretty quickly. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding! Michele's Question: I have sole custody of my 5 year old twin boys. He's her father. my ex married someone who was pregnant at the time by somebody else but why. Angela's Question: I separated from my son's father due to his drinking and drug abuse when my son was 2 years old. What if he doesn't allow phone contact while she is with him? Will the court make my ex have separate bedrooms for the kids? I agree that you can't let him dictate what you do. If they get married, you will have no choice but to let them go, so better letting them get used to her now. T's Question: My 5 years old son's father was basically never involved in his life. Brette's Answer: The visitation order stands as written and perhaps the other judge did not see the actual order. Gale's Question: My husband and I are legally separated. It sounds like there is turmoil in your ex's home. I sent sun-block and even sent a reminding text to his father about applying the sun-block. To date he has not completed the class but is drilling me for visits. The problem in your case is that you have absolutely no relationship with these children at all, since you say you've never met them. Response: Yes, she can if your agreement does not require that you be the only one to pick up the children. As they become more accustomed to seeing him somewhere else, the separation anxiety should ease. I do not know her and have never meet her before and do not trust her watching my son without his presence there. Now, because in some states, without a specific clause stating that only the parent is to do p/u & d/o, you may want to amend your custody order, through the courts. I am worried because my ex's parents are trying to get their son to file for custody so they can have my son. Brette's Answer: Generally, visitation would be on hold or supervised until there is a conviction. Tiffany's Question: My son has come home for the second time with water blisters on his face due to sunburn. Can I still call my kids if visitation was suspended? He is now trying to bully me into giving up more of my days. So now, she will spend 50% of the time with him. Cara's Question: My ex lives out of state and wants our 7 year old to come out to visit him. I understand your concerns about this though. Russell Alexander is the founder of Russell Alexander Collaborative Family Lawyers and is the firm’s senior partner. He can continue to have that bond and still have some kind of contact with his biological father. If he wants to take you back to court, that's his choice, but he will lose. If he comes to your house the days you are working, I think it is reasonable for her to go to his house 2 weekend days a month - that is a fair compromise. His dad has sole custody and I have visitation rights, but he says I have to supply the address even though I am willing to give him phone numbers where I can be reached. I went in the time of an analogous element. How can I divorce my wife without people thinking I'm shallow? Can we be held in contempt for not completing it? Can I do anything about the visitation if he's a bad influence? I would suggest that your attorney send his attorney a letter saying he must provide his own car seats and you will not give him the children if he does not have them. It is also possible that although you are hearing more about the girlfriend than the dad, your ex may be there and involved, but your child is reporting about the girlfriend because she is new. Should my boyfriend be seeing his kids every day of the week? I understand how difficult it is to feel like a man has completely abandoned you and your child and left the entire child-rearing to you, and then to have him suddenly show up and want to be involved. Brette's Answer: He has no obligation to your oldest child and no court could require him to take her on visits. The girlfriend is not as good of an answer since she's not permanent yet (they aren't married). Kelly's Question: My boyfriend has told his wife he wants a divorce, but he continues to go to her house every time his girls cry for him. Can I stop visitation if his girlfriend is harassing me? The best solution is counseling to deal with the underlying issues and treat the problem. Visitation and child support don't have anything to do with each other from a legal standpoint, and a judge would probably come down on you hard for withholding your support. You can try going back to court if you want to try something. This difficult time will pass if everyone can have some patience. That should be part of the transition. What are my kid's rights if their father hasn't seen them for 6 years? What can I do if he's alleging that I denied visitation? Erika's Question: I have had sole custody of my child ever since he was 3 years old (his father signed custody over to me). He is falling back into old drug habits, and I have been told I can limit his visitation to the amount of time that I feel is in my daughter's best interest and/ or limit the visitations to supervised visits. How can he take here away from me? What if he's accusing me of alienating the children? I don't want him having my daughter around his wife, not saying she would allow this but who knows. What should I do if his girlfriend treats our children badly? Child visitation can take a variety of forms or schedules. . I'm not discounting your son's version of the events, I'm suggesting there might be more to it and perhaps you could try to find out what. Can a custodial grandparent refuse visitation due to drug use? Try to get to the root of the problem then try to find a solution that will work for both of you. In fact, because they know her, it will probably be much less upsetting than if he were involved with someone they had never met. Do I have to allow visitation if he hasn't seen our son for 7 months? That they had no problems with me at home or at school and wanted to see him, but he refused. I notice a big difference in how he treats the kids (there has never been a bond between my ex and our daughter). It needs to start slowly and he's got to be on time and show up when he's supposed to. Your brother needs to read what the court ordered in his specific order. The following answers from our experts may help you understand different aspects of your own situation. Can someone else pick up and drop off my child during my visitation period? I did not want to risk that so I have not allowed him to see them. Is there anything that I can do? Our son is 16. Jessica's Question: My friend's ex won't let her have the kids at her house without him or his mom supervising her. He's essentially asking to go from every other weekend to every weekend and that is not fair to you, so I would suggest sticking with every other weekend. My lawyer tells me that he is holding me hostage and I need to take him back to court. Who is responsible for supplying medications during visitation? Shandar's Question: We have joint custody of our 7 year old son. For best results, talk to an attorney. My ex (CP) drove to our meeting spot, saw my girlfriend's car and refused to even speak to her. Is supervised visitation warranted if he has cerebral palsy? You and your ex could go to mediation and create a modification to the decree allowing either of you to have overnight guests, which would have to be approved (read: rubber stamped) by a judge. What are my rights? The fact that you are partnered with another woman is NOT a factor. Anna's Question: My 2 children (ages 10 and 5) live with me and I share legal custody with my ex-husband. Can she stop visitation if he has a venomous snake? No one is allowed to pick up your daughter unless they are on the visitation court papers. Explain to him that you have plans also and it's not fair for him to call you the night before with a schedule change. First of all, he's going to have to get up early to get to school and what if they get stuck in traffic. Talk to your attorney to get a sense as to what your state expects you to accommodate. It means you get to decide when and how often occurs. Have you ever seen a stipulation in a divorce/child custody decree stating that 2 children, unrelated by blood, and of maturing age should not share a common bedroom? I think it is wonderful that you've agreed he will have her one day a week while you work. The children requested that I be present at the time of visitation, which was documented and signed by my ex and signed on the final judgment. He visits in the late hours of the night, sometimes 2 or 3 in the morning when we are asleep. Can he use his visitation to send her to her grandparents? A parent who refuses to take a child to activities is not behaving in the best interest of the child. Can he set the visitation schedule if there are no court orders? Brette's Answer: The first issue would be your son's safety. I think you also need to have a provision inserted that says something about schedule changes should not be denied without a compelling reason. Is that right or fair to our child? He used to see our son two times a week for 3hrs and every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday at 6pm. Do I have a right to contact my son if he has custody? Colleen's Question: My husband has a sex addiction which we've been battling for six years. You're going to need some good reasons to ask for these things, other than just your own discomfort. Would they just give him my kids without them knowing him first? Brette's Answer: You could file a petition in family court for sibling visitation. Is there any way he will be able to have visitation with my daughter? If he has none, you need an order that says that. Can I just refuse to let her go? Not decide visitation amanda Asks: my ex to spend time with for. Wind up back in court are you seeking to change this is a provision! Said they had no problems with me first never been separated from me why! Point though that gives him alcohol options do we have never been separated since before was... 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